After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
I just want nice things and good sex
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
I need water and some morals
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
Nothing says “I spent too much in Vegas” quite like eating a jar of pickles for dinner and planning on cream of celery soup for breakfast tomorrow.
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
Randomize
