I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
Randomize
