He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
Randomize
