She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
Randomize
