Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
Having to grow a landing strip to cover the bruises from pole dancing. Thanks for the birthday present, but next time, maybe just a gift card?
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
Randomize
