We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
I think i sorta joined a cult last night
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
Randomize
