I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
Randomize
