so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
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