Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
Randomize