My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
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