I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
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