That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
Where'd you go last night?
Don't EVER let me photobomb a group of lesbians again. They made me their "straight mascot" and I ended up singing Donna summer tunes for beers at their apartment complex.
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
Randomize
