It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
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nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
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I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
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