I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
Randomize
