I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
First drunken handjob: not successful. Second handjob, mostly sober: much better. Nightly news brought to you by me.
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
Randomize
