I hate all girls vehemently.
hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
Why did I cab home last night?
Because you said you were drunk, sad, and someone called you a hooker.
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
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