Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
The following message is brought to you by IMSOFUCKINGSORRY. Dude I'm really sorry I got you arrested last night. You are allowed to choose a repayment plan from the following options: Money, weed, or a single kick to the balls any time within the next calender months. Repayment outside of the aforementioned options can be negotiated and considered within reason.
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
Randomize
