this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
I'm the fucking queen of sexting. I just made a blowjob sound so poetic I'm wishing I were a guy just so I could blow me. Learn from me.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
Accidentally texted co-worker instead of bf “I’m wfh tomrw. Nooner? 💦”
Randomize
