dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Randomize
