Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
Why is there broken glass in my purse?
You stole a snow globe. From your VP. Soooo...maybe don't put all your hopes on that promotion you were expecting
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
Randomize
