He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
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