did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
