We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
Randomize
