Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
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