i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
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