so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
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