I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
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