$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
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I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
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I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
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