Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
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