My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
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