GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
she pinky promised me she was 18
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
Randomize
