The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
no. you can't hotbox the world.
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
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