So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
Randomize