Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Randomize
