I just cut my nipple shaving
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
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