We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
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