I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
the hot woman interviewing me is reading jokes off the back of laffy taffy.... I'm getting laid and possibly a job
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
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