so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
weddingsv make me drug and hornr
i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
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