he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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