I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
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