do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
No memories of receiving this. Or of getting home. Or of apparently developing a taste for marmalade, which I assume is yours because I have literally never eaten it before. It's all over the kitchen. And my phone. And in my hair. Oh god I wish I wasn't on the train to work. X And sorry about the kitchen x
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
mid-sex she goes "oh my god. you aren't even going to remember my name in the morning, are you?". And i was so wasted that i straight up told her "honestly, I don't even remember your name right now"
I love millennial parents. One of the moms at the daycare center literally told me she and her husband named two of her kids after batman characters and one after game of thrones
Randomize
