Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
Never drink rum straight from the bottle, even if people say it'll make you a pirate. It won't: it'll make you a bumbling shitfaced idiot who just drank rum straight from the bottle.
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
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