I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
Randomize
