You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
Randomize
