I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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