Whod you bang
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
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