wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize