I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
even my farts smell like vagina
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
Randomize
