i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
Fun holiday story for you: Alex and I went out drinking. She left. I needed a ride home. Met this dude and told him to drive my car back. Once at my house, I made him take out my dog and then apologized for not wanting to make out with him. I said, let me go see if my roommate is interested and then I slept in Alex's bed all night.
20 bucks says he was an actual leprechaun
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
Randomize
