...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
Slut skills are useful in every country.
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize
