I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
Grow some girl-balls and come out already
Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
His fucking flight got canceled because the president stopped at the airport he was flying out of... Fuckin Obama literally just cock blocked me
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