Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
Randomize
