Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
areolas are like halos for boobs.
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
My roommate taped his phone to the ceiling fan to simulate walking so he could hatch Pokémon. Lazy people will always find a way.
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
Randomize
