So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
Randomize
