TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
Randomize
