fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
Did I just hear you ask Siri about the meaning of life?
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
Randomize
