Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
Randomize
