The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
Randomize
