there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
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