i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Randomize
