i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
I think weed is turning my hair brown
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
