im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
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