Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
Randomize
